Blogging, Cactus Diaries

Tania Capita on “What Femininity Means to Her”

Tania Capita is a 22-year-old speaker and content creator based in Cape Town, South Africa. Tania uses her passion for public speaking and her social media platform to teach women and girls about femininity and what it means to be a strong feminine woman.

I first ran into Tania in a WhatsApp group seminar that I was invited to by a friend of mine. Tania is very charismatic and passionate about femininity. She helped most of us understand a complex topic like femininity by breaking it down into fun, bite-sized context-rich videos that were easy to consume.

Born in Cape Town, South Africa to a Congolese mother and an Angolan father, Tania was always taught to be a flamboyant person – meaning the kind who is always in people’s faces. She never shied away from the spotlight. “Even if I tried to avoid it, I would always come back. I think most of my transformation and my transition in life happened when I matriculated from school,” she said.

She runs a WhatsApp group called “essence of femininity.”

What does femininity mean to you and why essence of femininity?

What femininity means to me is the energy that all females possess – meaning the feminine energy that we have is more dominant in females than it is in males. Females possess 75% feminine energy and 25% masculine energy. And femininity means harnessing both those energies. Females produce more of a feminine approach to life because we have that energy that is more dominant in ourselves – which is the feminine energy. So it’s all about harnessing that 75% feminine and 25% masculine energy and living in that nature – which is our true nature as females.

And that is also the reason why I call it “essence of femininity.” Because there is a lot of content about femininity. It talks more about looking pretty and having skirts and dresses and keeping on making sure your make-up is good and not letting the man chase you – which is true. I believe all parts are femininity because it is more on the outward. There is an internal part of femininity, too. There is the meditative part. There is the more spiritual side of femininity that is often forgotten and it must be brought out there.

What inspired you to start essence of femininity?

It started as a group chat and I’m trying to make it progress to a more bigger platform. I used a WhatsApp group chat because the target audience that I was trying to target were mainly Africans. I realized as Africans, we kinda have like a more less feminine approach to things that we do. We are feminine beings but we approach certain things in a more masculine approach because of our background. But it is not to say all African girls see that. But the people that I was meeting in my day-to-day, I just noticed how almost careless they were with their gifts, with their nature. They kind of put that to the side and tried a different approach which really did not work for them. So I thought I know this. I managed to transform my life.

Make them conscious about femininity. Have them see that there is something called femininity. And yes, black girls, too, or girls of color can harness this too. Particularly black girls – those were the characters I was surrounding myself with. So, that’s why I kind of started “essence of femininity.”

So, "essence of femininity" teaches you about your feminine energy. It makes you conscious about it but it also tells you that once you have gained this consciousness don’t go and forget it. There is maintenance. #femininity Click To Tweet

Starting from the WhatsApp group, I was able to do it with different people – different girls of colors, from different parts of the world. It was very successful. I think my first one, I was very proud of it. I was shocked but proud. And it kind of gave me the moment to continue moving forward. To not think about maybe this might not work. Maybe that may not work. But the fact that there was even a chance that it did work helped me to just push and push to reach a certain level where I will be completely comfortable and very energized to make essence of femininity more like a sorority, which is where I want to be.

I want it to be an institution. A physical and virtual institution for young girls and big girls to explore their femininity. And it doesn’t just have to be a western thing, an American thing, an Asian thing. It’s an African thing too. So just to make it more conscious for the girls to see that femininity is also on the ground level, going up much as the level on top.

Give us a few tips on how to become more feminine?

For me, I wouldn’t say that I’m very wise in terms of tips and tricks on femininity or knowing exactly, what it is that I want to project. Like I said, my program is more to teach. Not to teach girls how to be girls. But it is just to teach them how to harness their feminine energy. And I’m not a wiz at it, no. So far, what I have learned, I can teach. Because I go through every day (it’s a daily thing) and it actually energizes me and it keeps me in touch with who I am as a true female. To be a true female is to harness that female energy and express it and really just love that female energy. Love that it is who we are not put it aside.

One tip I can offer is intend to be feminine. How?

  • Look for things in your surroundings that give you inspiration.
  • Collect girl things and make sure they are meaningful to you.
  • Associate yourself with a feminine archetype to get more information and inspiration.
  • Practice meditation so that you have clean energy every time.
  • Spend time creating feminine habits so that there is a gentle flow of energy and substance. Feminine habits are painting, drawing, sports, literature reading, dancing, singing.

How do you address negative stereotypes about femininity?

There are many components and many points that I derived from “essence of femininity.” This is all curated to what inspired me to start “essence of femininity” and addressing negative stereotypes.

There is a song called beautiful little fools by Jorja Smith and it’s a song inspired by the movie The Great Gatsby, where one of the female characters says: “All she wants is to create daughters who grow to become beautiful little fools.” I’m just paraphrasing. I can’t say each word as it is. But she said all she really wants is to have daughters who eventually become beautiful little fools who are obsessed with their beauty. And that is exactly what I do not want females to become beautiful little fools.

They should be knowledgeable and not everything. So “essence of femininity” teaches you about your feminine energy. It makes you conscious about it but it also tells you that once you have gained this consciousness don’t go and forget it. There is maintenance. There is physical maintenance and that is all about self-care and reading spiritual books and all kinds of books, or just knowing the news or certain topics in life, being a career woman if you want be a career woman, be a homemaker if you wanna be a homemaker. So know your craft but keep that energy present and maintain it.

Connect with Tania Capita

WhatsApp ( +27677972841)

Instagram @simplytania

Published by Yuri

Hi, I'm the blogger behind happecactus. Welcome to my corner of the internet.

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